Last week, as I ran in the dark, I had some "ah ha!" moments. Perhaps it was how wrong the run went. I had to turn home to replace my contacts, I had to turn home
again to change shoes (not loving my new shoes...dang). The sunset. My GPS I downloaded to replace my Garmin that I can't find, wasn't working. And it hit me.
I am tired of training. That is not exactly true. It's an emotional statement. But 15 weeks is a
l o n g training plan (for a half marathon). It leaves a lot of time for doubt to creep in. For bad runs to start piling up. For life to get in the way.
When I ran the Shamrock 15k a few weeks ago I felt like I was ready to take on the half. But since then my confidence has dwindled. I know it has to do with recovering from being sick and not nailing my training runs but also I think I learned something about myself (don't I always) during this training time.
I chose to train for 15 weeks in part because I was
not confidant I would have what it takes to run the half marathon if I trained in less time. This is not true. It use to be, I use to need all the time I could get. But since I started my training with a decent base, 15 weeks is too long. I need to trust my training, give myself the benefit of the doubt, to dream bigger.
My lesson is learned. I need to
not approach races and challenges with an attitude of fear. That is self-defeating. And really just lame.
Bridge to Brews (April race)
It is dawning on me that my 12 in 12 challenge that I started in July 2011 is on its way to being COMPLETE! I have loved
loved loved this challenge, and of course am already brainstorming what challenge to go for next in July 2012. Ideas?
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| rolled out of bed 2 minutes before picture was taken, can you tell? |
So April's race was Bridge to Brews. I ran it with my husband. He commented on my bad attitude at the beginning of the race. In a nice way, I might add. He was surprised I wasn't more excited. I wasn't aiming for a PR. I just wanted to get it done. Why? Please reread the 5 paragraphs above.
The race started out going up up up and over the Freemont bridge. Immediately I was regretting my slacking on the hill training. I don't think I have even headed towards a hill since the Shamrock. I leaned hard on my music to get me going. It wasn't working. I panted my way through Portland's industrial area. At mile two I was done. Not with the race, but with my bad 'tude. I gave myself a pep talk, told myself to get over the gloom-and-doom frame of mind, and get it done. I started focusing on just completing the mile I was in. Focusing on my form.
We crossed over the Broadway Bridge. It was congested and everyone slowed in the bottleneck. I knew we were close to the last mile. I began to speed up, finally finding my stride. And then three songs saved me.
Super Bass
All I Do Is Win
A-Punk
I sped to the finish line. Finish time 1:00:28 or 9:44 min. miles. Not a PR but still not to shabby for me.