Lately...okay for a while now...I have been feeling completely overwhelmed and frustrated with running. I really thought that signing up for a Half Marathon, which would give me something to work towards, would kick my motivation into gear and rid me of my struggles. Unfortunately this has not been the case and I would be lying if I said I hadn't considered dropping out of this Half training altogether (good thing it cost so dang much and I can't quite swallow that pill!).
I think and I know that there are several reasons for this frustration that really have nothing to do with my own physical capability to run and to train. I mean, I have run numerous races and I have done a half marathon before, I know I can do it again. However, there has been lots going on at home which have me distracted. That combined with mommy guilt, bad weather, a hamstring injury and feeling absolutely useless anytime I do go for a run have put me in quite a rut.
When I finally do find the time to get out for a run, it never seem to go well. I feel exhausted, I can't run 2 miles without taking a walking break, my hamstring starts aching, I am running directly into the wind no matter what direction I turn...you name it. One thing I have certainly come to realize is that training for a Spring Half Marathon may not be for me, training through winter is no fun. Maybe Spring should be left for 5 and 10k races! As for now, we have about 7 weeks until the race and I am only up to 5 miles. I could not feel more discouraged. Honestly I am looking forward to the race being over so I can not beat myself up over feeling unmotivated or not wanting to go running. Maybe I need a new sport!
I wish I could come out and say that I have figured out a way to climb out of the hole and I am fresh and renewed and more motivated than ever but sadly that is not yet the case. But I can also say that I have not given up. I am feeling hopeful that The Get Fresh Challenge we are currently doing is going to be such a positive thing for me. I have to find new ways to get my body moving besides just running and I know it can only be a positive outcome.
I guess the bottom line is that being a running mom is hard. This is no new revelation to the world but it's the truth. Luckily I am too stubborn to give up and too concerned for my health to do nothing, I just hope that the two combined will be enough. Let the training continue!